As I've said so many years on New Year's Eve, this year will be better.

New Years Eve this year, I'm saying, "2010 is gonna SUCK!" The odds should be with me if the past is any indication.

Last fall, I experienced the peace of near death. In January, my step-son passed over. In March, my mom. VERY soon I'm going to have to take BooBoo on her last ride...to the vet. The drama and discontent surrounds me, and has with a vengeance since the January loss. Out of love, I have allowed myself to be sucked into it. Now, again, I hear I am not a part of this family & should stay out. I've been called names, even by my step-granddaughter that I would prefer were not in cyberspace. This 'family' is divided and borderline dysfunctional. (1 dad, 2 moms and 7 kids total...at different times of course!...it's not THAT out there! :) ) Halfs. Steps. Wyoming is looking good. The Black Hills, the Bighorns. I have 2 other escapee ex wive friends in that state from this same family! (Long story) There is yet one more scar on my heart. The mountains screan out my name...and it echoes in my head. I'm a runaway. I ran as a kid, and have ran a big share of my life. I'm even a runaway bride. Yikes! I'm tired of running. And packing. And moving. And un-packing. I'm just...tired.

But my son is here. And my grandson. Blood. Tonight I am watching "We Shall Remain" on PBS.

http://www.pbs.org/wbgh/americanexperience/ Stories are spoken of in this series. And family, and ancestors, and how the stories, told down through the generations, are in our blood, & make us 'Who We Are'. I believe northern (Viking) tribes (correct me if I'm wrong) believe we need strife in our life. My question: Why? I'm perfectly content without it. I don't understand. And yet, it surrounds me.